Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
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I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
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Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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