I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
