we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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