ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
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I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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