Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You may now shotgun with the bride
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
