When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize