I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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