I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
