Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
