who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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