you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
All the doctor said was why
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
