I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize