I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
