Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
