Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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