Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We have started to decorate penises.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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