It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
