we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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