so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize