wakey wakey hands off snakey
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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