i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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