I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize