I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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