Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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