I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
