Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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