The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
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I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
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PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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