i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I could fuck to npr.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
