ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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