A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
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