I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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