fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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