hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
