I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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