it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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