i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
