Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
