That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
