And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
