The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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