We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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