left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
