weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I supernannyed him into submission
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
