He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
