so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
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How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
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Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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