Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
