i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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