we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
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