You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
