Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
