I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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