The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually