guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me