hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
