I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
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he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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