Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i believe in u and ur pee
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
