Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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