It was confusing and full of hummus
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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