A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
